Taking it's Toll...

Today is 4th of July. I lay in bed typing while Cayenne is in her crib sleeping a few feet away. My mom planned a really nice relaxing day by the pool. She made lunch, specialty cocktails for the grown-ups and a delicious burger dinner with dessert to boot. We wrapped it up by heading to see some fireworks. It was a really nice day.

Only problem: it wasn't what we do in Virginia. Niko came home and burst into tears. It's really the first time I've seen the move affect him in a bad way. He just wanted to shoot off fireworks and be out in the street running around with all the neighbor kids. I've got to be honest: I wanted that, too.

As I lay in bed with my teary eyed 10 year old who just wanted to be in OUR house, in OUR Virginia with OUR friends it was all I could do to not burst into tears with him. It's crazy how things work. Cayenne is warming up to everyone now. She will be out of my sight and not panic every time. She seems happy since she has adjusted. The boys on the other hand who were happy with the move in the beginning are changing their minds. They just want Virginia. They want their friends. My mom's neighborhood has zero kids, they weren't in school long enough to make good friends to hang out with over the summer and they are just lonely. They don't want to play outside with just each other either. I've forced it but it's not the same. Reno even said to me the other day, "I don't like playing outside anymore. I don't have any friends. I want to play outside in Virginia." My heart broke a little. My kids would play outside for hours with kids in our neighborhood pretty much every day without fail.

Anyway, I'm just venting. Everyone is switching roles now that we are in month 4 of living here.

At least we have the beach! This view is an 8 minute drive away.

Edson and I both explained to Niko that this is temporary. Whether we RV or find a house things will be different next year. We had a nice day with some awesome fireworks and we need to remember that. It didn't satisfy him. He worried that the next neighborhood wouldn't have any kids or we'd be in a National Park that doesn't allow fireworks.

I had no idea the 4th of July meant so much to him. Neither did Edson. He told the kids to get their shoes on and he left with them. He didn't have to tell me what he was going to do. I knew. He took them to go get some fireworks so he could do them with him. I love him. Good Daddy award for sure.

We are still searching for a house. A HUGE factor is having kids in the neighborhood. We really liked a couple houses we saw and then drove around the hood, like stalkers, trying to find kids playing outside. We didn't see any so we didn't make an offer. It was that simple. We can love the house, but if there aren't any kids outside playing or at least bikes or scooters or some indication of kids we will NOT live there.

As for the RV option: it's a tough one. My biggest concern (other than us going crazy in such a small space) is the lack of socialization for our kiddos. I'm working on researching that now. I know there are tons of people that do full-time RV-ing with kids so it's just about figuring that out and asap. Both kids want to RV even though we've explained what that really means.

Our decision will come soon. It has to. We are stressed and need answers (so do you). I know what I'm leaning towards...

Side note: This post is obviously a few weeks old, but I still wanted to post it as things still apply.